Dear SAM
reoccurring as it seems, the word and concept of communication comes like a hangover, post some conversations, now and again.
I have an OCD on the topic, or in other words, I have a need of being precise.Split hairs, being pain in the neck, requesting clarifications, pushing on more and better specifications, requirements, prerequisites to be provided, in short: Let me know what you want()…
Almost every day I’m being reminded that others do not share my sentiment for precision and it takes a lot of focus and energy not to be “super-precise” / efficient, all the time. Actually, at times I’ve been described with the word “efficient”, where it was not meant as a compliment.
I’m assuming that, when I’m to perform something for “another” party, the other party would care about me getting it right, so that they can receive exactly what they actually want, by delivering somewhat precise requirements.
It doesn’t matter if the “other party” is a girlfriend, wife, mother or a client/customer, person in a street, or even a train conductor… Such situations make me think that people turn to other people not to get something they want, but rather to pass their problem onto someone else’s lap.
It seems to me, that in about half of the occurrences, once they pushed the “buck” forward, they only care to complain about lack of their success. (which reminds me of this) The rest varies.
I’ve noticed this is the same around projects when defining scope, or gathering requirements in regards to implementation or even deployment. It is the same when people call asking for advice when expressing a want or need.
It feels like if I would be a cashier at a convenience store, the “other party” would expect me to pack their imaginary wishlist for them, preferably without even a word on their part, process it for them, pack it up, pay for it for them and then deliver to their refrigerator. All without them doing anything.
Is it so with people today, that no one wants to take responsibility for even clearly stating what they want? Are we returning to the toddler stage through technology?
I don’t know much about most of the world, however, growing up in Sweden thought me a rude yet rather simple principle:
“Att tala innan man tänker är som att torka röven, innan man skiter.”
which roughly translated means:
“Speaking before thinking is like wiping your ass before you poop.” To argue the other side I’d have to quote one of my idols:
“A witty saying proves nothing.”
― Voltaire
And so the obvious question is: how do we accomplish anything in a group when only a few care about the details?
